Monday, March 23

To sprog or not to sprog?

What's cracking, what's cracking!!? Tell me your news! Me? I'm knee deep in work but I've been feeling lighter and brighter thanks to the miracle of modern medicine but that's a story for another day....I wanted to check in and tell you what I've been up to otherwise, but honestly, not flippen much! Once we've kitted out the cottage {it's nearly donezos}, I'll have some spare dosh to do stuff again. Right now, it's a case of: buy new furniture on pay day - be broke the rest of the month! 

Anyway, I do have something to ramble about...and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one! I didn't have any fears about turning thirty but I'm developing twinges about turning thirty-three. Why? Well, I've never been sure about having kids but I always imagined, that if I did sprog up, it would be around the age of thirty-four which would mean I'd probably have to get cracking on that around the age of thirty-three.

I will be thirty-three this year. Am I ready to attempt a baba? Uh, I don't think so! Or am I? I have no idea. 

Edit: I realise I'm writing this as if I have the luxury of choice. I know there are many women who want nothing more than to have kiddos but can't. I've been fairly light-hearted below but I completely appreciate that this is an extremely sensitive topic for many people and I think it's horribly unfair that some women can't have children. I know a wonderful woman who would make the most brilliant mum but sadly, she can't have babas and my heart aches for her. 

Maybe I will be able to fall preggers one day - maybe I won't. I'm not sure yet as I've never attempted it. Oh and in case anyone is wondering, this isn't a topic that Tall One and I have discussed much at all because we've both always been on the fence about sprogging in general. That said, I'm totally giving him this blog post to proof read! 

So here's my question to all the mamas and papas out there - did you ever have a moment where you just knew you wanted to have kids, or did it become a gradual want? I feel so.... neutral about it all. Is this good? Is this bad? Is this just a case of not wanting something because I don't know what it's like to have it? 

Now, I know I'm stating the obvious here but children are just so...permanent. Like, there are some days when I think, "Yeah, I could do with some baba cuddles right about now" and then I think, "Mother of mercy, I'd have to parent this thing FOREVER!! There is no way I'm giving up my takeaway coffee for Pampers!!" I know, I know. That sounds utterly snobby, naive and ridiculous.

Some of our friends are already moving onto baby number two and while their kids are adorable and amazing, they - like all children - need constant care and attention. I'm always blown away by how much they need in terms of snugs, food, cleaning, help, nappy changes etc I usually leave our mates thinking, "Dang those kids are cute but I am shattered from that visit and I didn't even do anything except play with a few Legos..." I truly have all the respect in the world for moms and dads - it seriously is a full-time job!

Some people have said to me, "If you're in doubt, don't do it." 
Others have said, "You will regret not having kids."
My besties have said, "Dude, your mom has to be a grandmother. Sprog up, stat."

I do worry about regretting it. I also worry that if I do have a kidlet, I'll end up perpetually broke, tired and resentful. I know that sounds awful but these are legit fears of mine...

So owing to the fact that I feel totally confused, I tend to shelve any thinking regarding this matter to the back of my head! 

If I were to scribble a list of pros and cons, I guess these would be the shamefully honest cons.
  • I don't like to lock myself into long-term commitments. A two-year cellphone deal is enough to freak me out. Kids are the ULTIMATE commitment. The concept of "forever" is too much for my brain to compute...
  • Kids are CRAY expensive. Like, what is going on with the price of Pritt Stick?
  • I often work long, intense hours and that'll always be the nature of advertising.
  • I usually come home feeling utterly knackered. 
  • Therefore, my spare time is sacred to me. If I have more than one weekend plan, I start to panic. 
  • I love being able to sleep in, watch South Park whenever and go on spontaneous weekend missions...
  • If a kid had to draw on our white telly unit, I think I would flippen freak out.
  • What if I landed up as a single parent? I fear I'd collapse from stress and sadness. {To all the single parents out there, you are AMAZING!}

I've recently read a lot of posts by mama bloggers who have shared the challenges of having kids, and while I'm grateful for their honesty, a lot of those posts have actually freaked me out and kinda put me off kidlets....

Grief, I sound like I would be positively awful as a mum.

That said, if a doctor had to tell me today that I couldn't have children, I think I'd be heart broken.

Tall One once said, "People go on to have more than one kid which means it can't be all bad." Lols.

So mamas and papas out there, do you have any advice for me? Having kids sounds tough and stressful but then people also say it's one of life's greatest I over-thinking it all?

My mom usually says, "Don't make a decision until you feel at peace in your heart." But I've made almost every life decision feeling rather sick inside! Maybe I'm just a painful decision maker?

I would seriously appreciate your thoughts on this...and please be as honest as you'd like. I realise I may have unintentionally ruffled a few feathers with this post, and I'm sorry if I have :( I am genuinely rather ignorant when it comes to kiddos but I'd love to better understand this aspect of life. x

PS: Tall One read this and said, "What the hell is a sprog?" LOLS. That was his reaction to this entire thing. I grew up reading British comedy books so I tend to use a lot of British slang! See sprog here.
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